How to Overcome Adversity in Difficult Times: A Realtor’s Guide to Resilience

Adversity is Inevitable, But Growth is a Choice

Today, I want to talk to you about something that every single one of us has faced—or will face—in life and in business: adversity. If you’ve been in real estate long enough, you know that challenges are just part of the game. Deals fall through, clients ghost you, the market shifts, and sometimes, it feels like everything is working against you.

But here’s the truth: adversity isn’t the enemy. It’s the training ground. It’s where we develop the resilience, mindset, and grit that set apart the top 1% from the rest. I know this because I’ve been there—not just in business, but in life.

I want to share a story with you today that changed my entire perspective on adversity and success.

The Day That Changed Everything

Let’s rewind to October 18, 2003. Life was good—at least, on the surface. I was a young, successful realtor. I had money in my pocket, a fun social life, and all the things that, from the outside, looked like success. But behind the scenes, I was making some reckless decisions.

That day, my friends and I were out on the water in a brand-new 21-foot Air Nautique, the kind of boat that turns heads. The weather was perfect. The sun was shining, the water was glass, it was a perfect day for wake boarding and honestly... life felt like it was on easy mode.

But there was one problem: we were drinking. We weren’t pounding drinks, but after eight hours on the water, none of us would have passed a breathalyzer.

On our way back to the dock, the driver took a hard left—a turn he’d made a million times before. But this time, he drifted too far right and clipped a cedar stump near the bank. The impact launched the boat 15 feet into the trees. We made the news that night, and not in a good way.

I was ejected from the boat and slammed into a tree at an estimated 23 miles per hour. My lower left leg wrapped around a tree. It knock me out instantly. I came to when I hit the the shallow swamp like water. Even unconscious, my biggest fear set in.... Alligators. Not just because of how vicious they are, but due to childhood trama (but thats a whole other story of adversity) I woke up... Went to stand up and realized that my leg was pointing in the wrong direction. There was only about three inches of skin that kept my leg from being completely severed. My friends had to pull me back into the boat up in the trees to get me out of the swamp. That was the most painful moment I remeber at the crash site.

In that moment, my life changed. My mother had always told me that one day I was going to learn a lesson the hard way. That day had finally arrived.

Facing Adversity Head-On
Let me give you a quick rundown of what followed:

● I nearly bled to death at the scene. My friends had to swim through aligator infested waters to find someones back yard to get them to call 911.

● I was airlifted to a trauma center. To this day, Ive never heard of anyone else getting lifeflighted for a broken leg

● The Hospital Chaplin called my mother and simply said... You need to get here now!

● I was rushed into the operating room.. All clothes cut off of me. Im laying there butt naked when I notice 10-15 med students standing around watching

● I was told I would never walk without a prosthetic.

● I endured 10 surgeries over two years.

● I was in the hospital over a month

● I lost my ability to work, take care of myself, and even had to sell my home and move back in with my mother.

● I nearly died twice from infections.

● I had an open wound for over a year and was on crutches for 2.5years. I went from being on top of the world to rock bottom.

Many people think the crash was the adversity I faced. But the truth is, the crash was just the consequence of my decisions. The real adversity? It was facing the fact that I had to rebuild my life from nothing. I had to take responsibility. And that’s where everything changed.

Many of you are dealing with your own struggles right now. Maybe it’s a tough market, a deal that fell apart, or a personal challenge that’s making it hard to focus on business. Whatever it is, I want to share the three biggest lessons I learned from my experience—lessons that can help you push through adversity in your own life and career.

1. Identify the Real Problem

When things go wrong, it’s easy to blame the external circumstances—the market, your broker, interest rates, people leaving your team or your company... the economy. But the real power comes from looking inward and asking, What role am I playing in this?

For me, the crash wasn’t the problem. The reckless lifestyle was.

For you, maybe it’s not the market that’s holding you back—it’s your lack of consistency in prospecting. Maybe it’s not that your clients are flaky—it’s that you haven’t set the right expectations. The moment you stop blaming external factors and start looking at what you can control, everything shifts.

2. Take Ownership and Make Your Tweaks

Once you identify the real issue, you have to take ownership. I had to take ownership of my health, my mindset, and my future.

For realtors, this means asking yourself:

● Are you doing the daily activities that lead to success?

● Are you managing your emotions when deals fall through?

● Are you adapting to market shifts instead of complaining aboutthem?

The top producers aren’t the ones who avoid adversity. They’re the ones who tweak their approach, adjust their strategies, and keep moving forward.

3. Build a Mindset of Resilience

Pain is inevitable, but despair that often follows is optional. I had every reason to sit in self-pity, but I chose to shift my focus to gratitude. Instead of dwelling on what I lost, I focused on what I still had:

● A second chance at life.

● A mother who supported me.

● The breath in my body which is all i need to rebuild.

For realtors, this could mean: Finding gratitude even when deals fall through. (That client wasn’t the right fit? Good—now you have room for the right one.)

● Celebrating the small wins. (Did you make your calls today? That’s a win.)

● Surrounding yourself with people who lift you up. (Your environment matters.)

My Personal Turning Point & The Power of Taking Action

After three years of pain meds and self-pity, I knew I had to make a change. For almost 3 years, I had a strict diet of percicets and junk food. I looked at myself in the mirror one day and hated who I had become. I had it worked into my mind that I was useless and no woman would ever want me again. I could barely recognize myself. I was physically, emotionally and mentally broken. In my mind, I was damaged goods...

My breakthrough came when I immersed myself in health and fitness. As my body got stronger, so did my mind. Over the following years, I pushed past every single limitation the doctors had set for me. As I approached and crossed a 135.. A 225... and a 315 pound back squat, I realized that I had far more control over my recovery than the doctors did. And as my confidence grew, so did my success in business.

It wasn’t overnight, and it wasn’t easy. But the lesson was clear: when you take control of one area of your life, it spills into everything else.

For you, this may mean:

● Focusing on what you can control—your effort, your mindset, your actions.

● Don’t wait for motivation—take action, and motivation will follow.

● Build habits that support long-term success.

Your Adversity is Your Advantage

I want to leave you with this:

Your biggest challenges will be the foundation for your greatest success—if you let them. The top realtors, the most successful business owners, the people who make an impact—they all have one thing in common: they don’t let adversity break them. They use it to build something bigger and even stronger.

So, what’s standing in your way today? Write it down. Identify the real issue. Take responsibility. And start making your tweaks.

Nobody is coming to do it for you. But the good news? You already have everything you need to turn adversity into success.

Thank you.